#and just represent girls that don't pass for shit

[bandgie]

On Your Knees

ONE | TWO

incel!Seungmin x fem!reader

warnings! MDNI18+, drinking implications (no one is drunk) dubious??, pussy eating, face fucking (m!), hate sex (but no sex) seungmin is an ass (low key misogynistic), reader is kinda mean note! this is not meant to represent Seungmin or any of the members in any way. I just like the trope :)

2.7k words

The party was getting boring in all honesty. Truth-or-Dare is only fun for the first couple of minutes but gets repetitive. Same old questions on who you're fucking, if you're fucking someone, if you've ever fucked someone. The flat beer sloshes in your red solo cup as you sit on the floor of the living room.

You can tell Han is trying to come up with something interesting to ask Seungmin. Most of the somewhat funny questions were already asked, but Han still purses his lips as he thinks of something clever. 

"Okay, I got it!" He claps his hands. "Best pussy you've ever eaten. Go."

Ah, I guess that's something, you think as you divert your attention to the cross-legged man beside you. 

Seungmin is awfully quiet at house parties and looks as though he would rather be anywhere else. You don't like Seungmin, but you don't not like him. He's just a guy Han likes to bring around on occasion. You observe Seungmin raise an eyebrow, in surprise most likely. But what he says is even more shocking. 

"Never eaten pussy."

"What?!" Everyone collectively shouts at his admission. Now this peaks your interest as you stare wide-eyed at him. "No way," you can't fathom the thought of someone in college never tasting a cunt. "Are you a virgin?"

Your bold question makes Chan choke on his drink, coughing until the bitter liquid finally passes through. "Jeez dude, you just can't ask that."

"It's literally Truth-or-Dare. I literally can," you retort. 

The clamor of everyone settles as they wait for Seungmin to answer. Now that he can feel the pressure of everyone's eyes, he shifts in his seat uncomfortably. "I'm not a virgin," he says. "I just don't eat pussy."

"What the fuck?" You make a confused expression. "You don't eat pussy? Fuck does that mean?" Seungmin finally casts his gaze on you, acknowledging your presence for the first time tonight. "Exactly what I mean. I don't like it."

"You don't like it?" Han sounds exasperated. "You gotta be fucking with me. There's no way you fuck a girl and not want to eat her pussy." Despite Han being an idiot half the time, you agree with him. Every guy you've hooked up with jumps at the chance to eat you out and you know plenty of them would do it for nothing in exchange. 

To meet a guy who's never had the opportunity to only means two things, and you're praying it's not what you're thinking. 

"I just fuck to cum. I don't really care if she finishes or not."

It's worse than you could have imagined. 

The room goes dead quiet and you suddenly figure out why Han doesn't bring Seungmin around too often. His stiff posture, his blank expression, the way he hardly regards you in any manner. It all points to signs of the worst type of man. 

"So like what?" You can't help the clipped tone in your voice. "You some type of incel?"

Chan, who likes to keep the peace, says your name in warning. "Don't start." Though he means well, the fact that you're the one getting in trouble for speaking up only fuels your fire. "Don't start? He's the one who started with his dumb incel shit."

Seungmin scowls, "Ugh. I didn't even say anything bad. You're being so emotional."

The tips of your ears burn red and you feel your entire body heat up. You can hear Chan trying to diffuse the situation, but you hardly care about maintaining 'the peace' any longer. 

"Oh, fuck off," you sneer at Seungmin. "You can't even make a girl finish. Fucking incel virgin."

Now that does it for him. You see Seungmin tighten his hands into fists as his neck grows red. "I'm not a virgin. And I can make a girl cum. I just don't care to." He enunciates his words harshly, some speckles of spit landing on your face. Both of your jaws are tense, teeth clenching as you glare into each other's eyes.

A vein sticks from his neck and his lips are stretched back into somewhat of a snarl. With a flushed expression, you easily see his cheeks heat up in anger. It's here that you realize he looks good when he's mad. You hate it.

"Okaayyy!" Chan claps his hands three times loudly. "I think it's time to call it a night." Everyone tries to stand and talk about anything else, but Seungmin and you are too busy having your own little conversation to notice. 

"Never eaten pussy, can't make a girl come. Why you lying about being a virgin?" You mimic the vicious on Seungmin's face. He keeps his eyes steady on yours, "Whoring yourself out for a fuck. You're everything that's wrong with women today." 

This makes you laugh, "At least they make me cum."

If you thought Seungmin was mad before, he's furious now. You must have struck a nerve because he stands suddenly and spins on his heel to leave. 

But you're not done with the conversation. You raise on your feet and follow him, never ceasing to stop your vicious spewing, "Just be honest with me, Min. It's okay to have never felt a woman's touch. Not that you ever will, being an incel that is."

Seungmin hurries up the stairs of the house with you on his tail. You can't see his face, but you can feel the anger rolling off him. 

He suddenly stops in his tracks, making you effectively bump into his back. "I'm not an incel," he keeps his voice low, but strong. "Eating pussy isn't even all that. You just have an ego bigger than your tits."

You try and play it off with a scoff, but you feel your face heat up. You grope your chest offendedly; you like your boobs. "Not all that? Come here." Pushing on Seungmin's back, you lead him to the nearby bathroom and shove him inside. He stumbles and trips over his feet, shooting a hand out to balance himself on the counter as you close and lock the door behind you.

"Fuck was that for?" He whips his head around to glare at you, but he's surprised to be met with an eerie smile on your face instead. He gulps nervously, "What are you looking at?"

You shrug nonchalantly, "Looking at someone who's going to eat me out." Seungmin looks as though you've slapped him across the face as his eyes widen. "What? Who said I was gonna do that?" 

You're already hiking your skirt up to your torso, biting the cloth between your teeth, and showing the pretty little thong you put on in hopes of a hookup. It barely manages to over your clit and you can see the outline of your pussy underneath the material. With one hand, you use the tip of your finger to draw soft circles on it. Seungmin drops his eyes to your clothed core.

His Adam apple bobs.

"Come on," you wiggle your eyebrows playfully. "Get on your knees for me."

For a second, you think he's gonna walk out. He was so persistent about not wanting to eat pussy and his shitty attitude was...well...shitty. You begin to think that there's no hope for Seungmin, but he proves you wrong by bending one knee and looking up at you.

"I'm just going to look," he says more to himself than to you. "Just so you could stop your whining." 

His hands grip the plushness of your thighs as he stretches the skin. The lips of your pussy peek out at the movement, but Seungmin is far from disgusted. His ears pick up on the sound your cunt makes when he uses his thumb to pull and push the skin together. Slowly, he moves his hand up to pull your thong down, exposing the very thing he claims to revolt against. 

You shiver against his warm breath, his warm touch. You reach your hands down to pull up on the skin of your pelvis to further stretch your pussy. "Getting a good look, Seungmin?" You giggle at the annoyed expression on his face. His lips may be pulled pursed into a frown, but his eyes are wide with lust.

Seungmin is trying his best to hold back, but it's near impossible. Everything about you surrounds him: your smell, your soft skin, the way your voice echoes in the bathroom. He shocks himself with how much he enjoys watching your clit peek from your pussy lips and how the first signs of arousal make your entire cunt shine. 

"Shut up," he mumbles. 

You're thinking of a witty remark to snap at him, but you're instead pleasantly surprised with his lips ghosting over your core. Your body stills, letting Seungmin explore pussy on his tongue for the first time. He runs his lips over your own, feeling how soft and warm it is. Seungmin already knew how hot a cunt is, but tasting it on his lips is a whole other level of heat.

"Mmm," you hum at the sensation. "What happened to just getting a look?" 

Seungmin looks up at you, mouth still attached to your core. His nose bumps on your lower stomach with his hair tousled over his face. Before you can think, you brush the bangs from his face to get a good view of his form. The sight makes you groan, bucking your hips further into his face. Seungmin makes a hmmf! sound as you bury his face deeper into your pussy, but he makes no move to deny you.

It's not until you start rocking your hips that he finally sticks his tongue out. He starts at the peak of your pussy, letting the nub roll over his tongue experimentally. Seungmin notes how your legs shake when he does that. He feels your hips still so he could properly suck on that part of your cunt. 

The taste of you settles on Seungmin's tastebuds and he finds his tongue digging deeper into your lips. They dip down to your labia before going back up. He likes how soaked you make his wet tongue, how your hands twist his floppy hair to drive him deeper. He hates how much he likes it. 

Truthfully, you're in the same boat. His mouth may not be experienced, but you upsettingly like how he lets you ride his face. "See Sungie?" You say his name mockingly. "Not too bad, is it?"

Seungmin doesn't stay put in your cunt. This time, he pulls away from your throbbing core to talk back. "I never said it was goo- mmf!" As lovely as it would have been to hear his voice, you reason that his words may not have been as nice. You had gripped the back of his head and forced him back to your center, uncaring how he gently slapped the back of your thighs in disapproval.

"Just shut up and stick your tongue out." You're impatient needless to say. Seungmin can tell by how you keep one hand steady on his head while the other gives his cheek light taps. "Open up, come on." You probe the man between your legs until he finally relents, widening his jaw so your entire clit fits in his mouth.

You hum at his mouth taking your core in, "Good boy. See? You were made to eat pussy."

Then you hook one of your thighs over his shoulder and wrap that leg around his body until his face is pushed against you. His eyes widen, screaming at you as if saying this wasn't part of the deal! But the panic only makes you laugh. He can pretend all he wants, but you know the bulge in his pants all too well as you look down on him.

Grinding on his face is easy with you in complete control. You sloppily rub your cunt all over his tongue with his head following your movements. Seungmin groans and grunts in your cunt, but it's far from the disdain he was filled with earlier. His hips thrust into the air at the feel of your essence dripping down his chin.

His jolts make you chuckle breathlessly. "Fuck, just look at you. You wanna cum? You wanna cum, don't you?"

Screw his pride, screw any stupid podcast he's watched, he needs to cum. He wants to feel your pussy clench on his cock, not his tongue. Yet, he can't find it in himself to tear himself away from your clit. If you taste this good already, he can't imagine the savor of you creaming on his tongue. 

To not let a second go by without his mouth on you, he nods, looking up at you pleadingly. He's sorry for being a dick, for being an incel. If you let him finish in you, he'll never-

"Sucks to suck," you shatter his dream. "You're gonna make me cum. Don't move."

And he doesn't, but it's not because he means to obey you. You have Seungmin on his knees, mouth enclosing over your pussy while you tug on his hair and hump his face and you're not going to let him finish? At all?

Then there's no point of him being here. Seungmin should tear your grip off him and leave the bathroom, but he can't. Fuck, he can't. It's like you've put a curse on him, glued him to the floor with his jaw unhinged and tongue out as you grind on his face. 

It has to be witchcraft because why else would he still be here? Does he really like the taste of you that much? Maybe it's how you look; flushed, sweaty, close to a high Seungmin's never been able to bring a girl to. Seeing you so close to your orgasm makes him eager to stay, eager to please. And god, he loves how your clit twitches in his mouth.

"Shit," you curse. "Gonna cum. Imma cum all over your face. You want that? Want my cream all over your tongue?"

Seungmin would rather die than tell you the truth, so he responds by sucking harshly on your clit. The suction is enough to tip you over the edge, digging your nails into his scalp as you bend the upper half of your body over him. 

Your cunt pluses around nothing, but that hardly matters when you hear Seungmin gulping down your release. The very same man who claims to not like eating pussy, to not care if his partner finishes. That man eagerly licking you clean with his eyes rolling behind his head. 

You shiver and mewl as you cum, softly grinding your hips to come down from your high. "God- fuck! Put your tongue in my pussy."

He does, finally getting a feel of your walls for the first time. They squeeze and pulse around his tongue and he gives a few testing thrusts that you respond to positively. 

Fuck, you taste even better inside. 

Seungmin can't stop fucking his tongue deep inside you. Not even as you wrap your leg from him and straighten up. A part of you debates on whether or not to let him keep going. At this rate, he might make you finish a second time, but you don't want to give him the satisfaction of that. Plus, you've been gone long enough for the other men to question your whereabouts.

You place the palm of your hand on his forehead and push him away. The shove makes him detach from your cunt with a lewd pop! as he catches himself backward on his hands.

"Geez. You're gonna lick it off," you pick your underwear up and step through the leg holes, ignoring how uncomfortable it feels on your sensitive cunt. Seungmin seems in a daze as you drop your skirt from your lips and adjust the material. Even as you walk closer to the mirror and touch up your make-up, Seungmin stays in place on the ground. 

He liked it. Dear god, he loved it. Even with the tent in his pants, he hardly seems to notice how his cock throbs when he can still taste you on his lips. You only face-fucked him to prove a point, but you changed the trajectory of his life forever.

Yet, you wash your hands and use a hand towel to dry yourself like you didn't just make Seungmin question his entire purpose. You throw the rag to the man on his knees, managing to land it on his lap. "Your face is soaked. Clean it before they see how much of a munch you are, yeah?"

a/n: idk why I was at work was thought "yk what would be hot? making an incel seungmin worship you" and boom, this was birthed. I kinda wanna make a part two I have ideeassss also two fics in one week?? who am I? thank you for reading!

[themultifanshipper]

Really, even though you were friends, the last thing Logan should be asking the Williams HR representative about, in her office, is sex.

Warnings: oral, petnames, lots of petnames

Based on true events that happened to me last week. Only difference is it was in my appartment, and I didn't actually come.

Do I use too much italics? Probably. Do I care? Not one iota.

So yeah, this was probably breaching several clauses in both your contracts.

But Logan came into your office, looking a bit sheepish, and sat down on the grey sofa in the corner without a word. You just stared at him, waiting for him to say something, but he just avoided your gaze.

"What can I do for you Logan?"

He didn't answer, just squinting at the floor, contemplative.

He came into your office quite often. Probably more than was strictly appropriate but after all, you used to be on the media team and had become friends with most of the drivers during your years at williams. Usually Logan and Alex (and occasionally others who "happened to be passing by") would come in for a chat, generally cheerful or angry or sad, depending on the kind of day they were having.

Today however, Logan was fully silent.

"Logan?"

He squinted again, this time at you, trying to figure out how to say what was on his mind.

"Lo, I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong"

He took a deep breath before responding.

"So you know I'm a virgin, right?"

You, in fact, did not know that. You didn't think you were that close a friend, although you didn't exactly mind. It was just a bit sudden.

"What?!"

"Well technically I had sex once but it went really badly. And I haven't had any practice since, because I'm scared of picking up girls because I don't know what I'm doing and I'm an F1 driver so I'm supposed to be having loads of sex but imagine I'm really bad and it got out, it would be super embarrassing and I'd have to ask you, my friend, for an NDA about bad sex, which is just another level of weird and I'd hate for you to stop tal-"

"Logan!"

He stopped ranting and looked at you, obviously feeling rather vulnerable.

"Logan... have you just come into my office to tell me you're inexperienced at sex?"

He pursed his lips and frowned.

"Yes"

"Okay.... why?"

"Because I want you to teach me how to pleasure a woman"

He looked you straight in the eyes, with way too much confidence for someone who was suddenly eligible for a lawsuit.

You raised your eyebrows at him. "Logan, couldn't have waited until... oh I don't know, until we weren't in our workplace to ask me for sex?"

"Um... I guess?" He had the audacity to look embarrassed. "I'm sorry if I read this wrong. Do you uhh- not want to?"

You studied him for a second. What the fuck. It wasn't that the idea was unappealing, he was an attractive young driver with probably incredible stamina. Which is why you found the idea of him being inexperienced so odd. And why was he asking you for... guidance? A lesson? It was weird to think of him as anything other than your friend slash coworker Logan, who you had now known for nearly two years.

If someone had told you this morning that this is how your day was going to go, you would have told them to fuck off and gone back to sleep. You realised you must be taking too long to respond when Logan sighed and rubbed his face.

"Okay nevermind, I'm sorry I brought it up, we can just- pretend this conversation never happened"

He sounded almost sad as he got up to leave but stopped as you blurted out "No, wait!"

He stared at you questioningly.

"I'll do it" You sounded breathless "I'll teach you- how to do uhh... sex. With me."

His eyes lit up as he laughed "I hope you'll be more articulate than that "

"Oh fuck off" you hit his shoulder in retaliation "You're the one who looked like you were going to shit a brick when you walked in here!"

"Hey! That's a low blow" He pouted.

The atmosphere became more comfortable with the bickering but there was still an undercurrent of nervousness. He took a couple of steps towards you and leaned in but you stopped him with a hand on his unsurprisingly firm chest.

"You want to do this now?" You hissed "Are you fucking mental?"

He pouted again "why not, the bosses aren't here today, it's just us, and the engineers are working on the cars" He wiggled his eyebrows.

Well when you put it that way....

Fuck's sake.

You leaned in slowly, as if aiming for his mouth before swerving at the last second and pecked him on the cheek before whispering in his ear. "Lock the door for me will you, darling?"

His eyes darkened "Yes ma'am" and he turned away to lock the door.

You sat down on the sofa and spread your legs, beckoning him over and silently motioning for him to kneel between them. He did so and put his hands on your thighs, then looked up at you expectantly.

Oh, right. You were supposed to be teaching him.

"Okay so first you're gonna want to get me naked"

He giggled at your obvious statement before hooking his fingers into your waistband. "Sure thing, princess" Pulling them down and off, underwear soon following as he let out a breath, eyes and hands roaming over your newly exposed skin. "Shit, you're already so wet." He looked up at you again.

"Can I?" He asked.

So polite.

"Be my guest" you smiled at him as he lowered his body. He kissed the inside of your thighs, slowly inching towards where you needed him most. When he got there, you let out a strained half-sigh half-moan as he licked a stripe from your taint to your clit. The noise made him look up as he licked his lips, eye contact making you shiver. He then spread your thighs further and immediately buried his face between them like man starved, making a valiant effort to find your clit with his tongue.

"A bit lower- lower- a bit right. Wait no, your right"

He followed your instructions dilligently and when he found it, he sucked on your clit with fervour, which made you gasp and let out a shaky moan. "There, right there." as your right hand weaved itself into his hair.

Eyes on yours, he blinked up at you and you nodded to tell him he was doing a good job. Satisfied, he carried on, closing his eyes in concentration.

You grabbed one of his hands and started licking at his fingers, it startled him a bit and he looked back up at you, still surprisingly efficient with his mouth. The sight was absolutely sinful, blonde hair a mess, eyes blown wide, tongue out, working over your flesh. When you sucked one of his fingers into your mouth, straight down to the knuckle, he groaned, the vibrations making your hips twitch. You slid a second finger into your mouth, then a third, ensuring they were nice and wet, then pulled them out. "You can start putting them inside now".

He put the first one in, reaching so much deeper than you could manage on your own, all the while still lapping at your clit. You were so wet it didn't take long for a second one to join as he pushed them in and out gently.

"Okay now sort of hook them upwards" you showed him the movement with your own hand and he nodded, hooking his fingers and it felt so good you moaned quite loudly, hoping none of the engineers would be passing by your part of the building. He put a third finger in and the stretch was delicious as he pressed upwards again and flattened his tongue over your clit.

You could slowly feel an orgasm building and he felt you clench around his fingers, going slightly faster with both his hand and mouth.

"Oh god whatever you do, do not stop!" You panted above him as he used his other hand to hook a leg over his shoulder and he sat up a bit, changing your position slightly and making his fingers hit even deeper inside you.

"Fuck!" You clenched around his fingers as you came hard and he slowed down, helping you ride it out for a while before you had to physically push him off because he wanted to seemingly carry on forever.

"Geez Lo, give a girl a minute, yeah?" You laughed, a bit out of breath. You felt boneless as Logan started kissing his way up your body and finally sealed his mouth over yours. His face was sticky, and your hands went to his hair and pulled on it, making him groan into the kiss. You pulled his head back and he whined, his hips bucking against the sofa, searching for some relief. You lifted an eyebrow at him.

"Please" he panted. You glanced down.

"Need some help down there, soldier?"

He grinned, lopsided. "Sargeant, actually"

Oh yes, you were going to have some fun with this one.

[sant-riley]

[Ghost, Soap and Price when you ask them "would you get my name tattooed on you?"] headcanons

A/N: This is for fun, no one requested it but I love tattoos and I got some soooooo here we go!

A/N 2: this was started back in December lmfao whoops, anyways this is just some random thoughts .

Ghost:

Ghost is gonna either A) look at you like you're stupid as fuck or B) call you stupid as fuck for even asking if you two are not close.

However, you are close so he humors you, despite not saying a for sure yes or no.

"And why would I do that?"

"Because you love me~"

"You think I love you?" Dude is making heart eyes at you as y'all speak, he's full of shit.

You pester him and poke at his chest, telling him you want your name here or there and he just rolls his eyes when he lays on his back.

He makes grunts and snarky remarks like he'd cut the skin off and belly laughs when you pout and can't help but flick your forehead and say it wouldn't happen.

A liar, he's gonna get a tattoo to symbolize you, just not your name. In y'alls line of work it's too dangerous, he's a known soldier and he has a target on his back. Whatever hyperfixation you have, whatever special interest, is something he'd get inked on him, probably on the inside of his arm to keep it hidden.

He runs his fingers across it before and after a mission, even if you're there with him. It's a habit that he'll probably never break. (I'm imagining him with Optimus tattoo for me I'm crying)

Soap:

He's been waiting. He is absolutely saying yes. He's been thinking about it for awhile and has been designing in his little journal what fonts he would get.

You cannot tell me that this man wouldn't get his loved ones name on him bc he absolutely WOULD.

He doesn't care if it's bad luck to get your partners name on you, as far as he's concerned he's yours for as long as you'll have him and you both work together, been through hell together. He's sure of it if you are okay with it.

He's the guy to get your name over his heart 😭 probably also with some flowers/symbols that represent you around it as well.

He presents it to you all giddy and laughs loud when you throw your arms around his neck hugging him.

"You like it? Now you're stuck with me 'orever~" while he gives you kisses all over your face.

Soap proudly flaunts when he's shirtless, his dog tags and your name on his chest make him so egotistical (it's warranted he's so fucking hot)

Would be very happy if you were to get his name but would never pressure you, however if you were, he'd need to design it for you <3

Price:

Price is on the fence, he's not a tattoo man and never has been. But he loves you, more than he's ever loved anyone so it's a firm maybe.

It'll have to be a couple of years before he genuinely will sit down and consider it.

Wouldn't get your name but instead your initial, probably on the inside of his finger or on some easily hidden slice of skin.

You don't even fucking see it until months pass and he's changing.

"Oh that? Got it back on downtime between missions." Motherfucker.

He grumbles as you steal whatever limb it's on but he's happy you're so so ecstatic and he thinks the glowing smile you send him makes it worth it.

@devilsfoodcake22 @simon-rileys-princess @stupid-ninja @milkmily @lune-la-chanson @tamayakii @teacupcollector @perilous-pasta @ihatethisappsomuchitpains @marsbar127xx @baddump @xncasi @king-cookiex @palomaxaxaxa @amatchasky   @wolfyland07 @diejager @hailstrum18 @pretty-little-bunny382728 @mzfandom @solarslushee @areislol @cluelessyasmin @sesshomaruwaifu @chaos-unchecked @kalamataolivesssss @arunasmisfortune @tbrfics @117s-girl @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore @sparrowwithaquill @justtiredandvibing

[reallychaoticwoo]

Hi, babe!!!! I just accidentally hit my head really hard and I need some comfort. So could you please write something for a non idol! Reader with some kind of injury? I’m feeling better now, but I still need something to get me going. Love you💕💕

⛓️Hello babes! So this may have been slightly self-indulgent as your girl is in SERIOUS need of some physical affection lol but i do really hope you enjoy it!⛓️

✨️Peace of mind✨️

❤️Pairing: San x reader

⚠️Warnings: cussing, some suggestiveness🖤

This is truly a fluff fest, and I am absolutely NOT sorry.

‼️This is purely for entertainment purposes and does not represent the idol in any way‼️

🖤This was not proofread, so I apologize for any typos or weird mistakes 😅 Hope you enjoy!🖤

You didn't plan on injuring yourself today, I mean, does anyone ever really plan on it? You'd been rushing to get your things together, eager to head home and get out of your uncomfortable office attire. Bending down to grab your laptop bag and purse your head collided with the corner of your desk. Your vision blacking out for a quick moment and a sharp pain shooting through your head, you let out a groan. "Fuck.." Your hand finding it's way to your forehead to apply pressure to the aching area. Sitting back in your chair hand still holding your head you heard a knock at the door. "Come in." San opened the door, leaning himself against the frame. "Hey I was just coming to see if you.... shit, are you okay?" The casual stance he had disappeared as he made his way to your desk. Pulling your hand away from your head his eyes widened. "You're bleeding y/n. What happened?" Concern written all over his face, he headed to bookshelf in the corner of your office where the first aid kit was. "I'm okay.." You started looking at your blood covered hand that had been resting on your head. "I was just trying to pack up and I hit my head on the desk when I went to grab my bags." He let out a small chuckle, internally scolding himself for laughing at your clumsiness. "Yup, that sounds like something you'd do." He sat on your desk facing you, pulling your hand into his to wipe away the blood with a small antibacterial wipe he'd gotten from your first aid kit. "So what were you coming in to ask me before you stopped to play nurse?" You asked, nuding his knee with your free hand, a cute little smirk resting on your face.

The two of you had a bit of a back and forth going at the office. Passing flirty winks back and forth in the hallways, randomly showing up at each other's offices with any and every excuse in the book as to why. Neither of you had actually made a move to further things, though. Part of you wondered why, but another part of you figured it was because the both of you knew dating in the workplace, you get really messy really quick. Either way, you always caught yourself wishing things could be more.

"Well, I was going to see if you had plans tonight. But considering you just tried to put yourself into a coma, I don't think now would be the best time for a date." As if it was the most casual sentence in the world, he leaned forward to wipe the blood from your forehead and face, with nothing but a concentrated look painting his own. "I wouldn't say no if you asked." You looked up at him, a glimer of relief and excitement passing through your wide eyes. He chuckled knowingly. "Oh, I know. Don't think I haven't been wanting to ask you out for a while now. I just didn't want things to get weird if I did, but I think it's pretty obvious we'd both like to see where this could go." You giggled at the truth he just admitted so bluntly. There was no arguing that you were dying to see what things would be like if you both just allowed yourselves to be honest with your emotions towards each other.

"So, how about instead of going out like I was originally planning, we stay in and you let me take care of you and that injured little head of yours?" Playfully nudging your chin with his thumb, he looked at you with warmth in his eyes and a shinning smile spreading across his lower face. You couldn't help but return the cheesy grin up in his direction. "That sounds even better, honestly. No loud noises or bright lights. And most importantly, no feeling the need to wear uncomfortable clothes to look pretty." He tsked, a fake pout spread across his features. "You wouldn't want to dress up and go on a nice date with me??" He crossed him, arms feigning disappointment. "Right now? No. I want nothing more than some comfy sweats and to get out of these harsh lights." Your head really was throbbing. As much as his banter improved your mood, your eyes had been squinted the whole time, and you were ready to go anywhere that was quite and dimly lit. His muffled laughter catching your attention, he offered you his hand to help you up. He made sure to grab your bags so you wouldn't have to bend down again and risk another blow to your already aching head. "Okay, okay, princess, my place work for you? I've got plenty of comfy sweats, you can pick whichever ones you want." Walking out of your office, your face resembled that of a high school girl getting a text from her crush. You were smiling, blushing, internally screaming, and giggling. I mean, who wouldn't feel that way when the hottest man to ever grace this planet was taking you home to comfort you and make sure you still got a little date out of it. Honestly, the fact you knew without a doubt he'd have no expectations from you made you weak in the knees. Just a genuinely caring man who wants to make sure you are feeling okay because you hit your head. You weren't sure the exact moment the gods started blessing you, but you were mentally thanking them the entire walk to his car.

The car ride was rather nice. His hand resting on your thigh, the two of you talking about everything and nothing. When you finally reached his house, he quickly opened your door, offering you his hand to help you to your feet. Outside his house was simple but beautiful. He had a wrap around porch with a black metal bench swing, stringed light bulbs lining the edge of the covering, and a sitting area with two large wicker chairs and a small table. His yard was well maintained with beautiful flowers and greenery placed perfectly throughout. You were admiring the simplicity and homey feel as he ushered you up the front steps and through his front door. The inside of his home was equally as inviting, sleek, and modern, with carefully placed decor, highlighting the various spacious rooms. Gesturing you to follow him, the two of you moved to his living room. "Make yourself at home. I'm gonna go grab you some headache meds and water really quick. I'll be right back." You smiled in his direction, nodding at him in a silent thank you. Sitting on the couch, you took a look around the living room. A large marble fireplace in front of you with a large TV mounted to the wall above it. The mantle was decorated with a few vining plants and pictures of who you assumed were his brothers or really close friends. You smiled to yourself at how many goofy and well taken photos he'd proudly displayed. He quickly made his way back to the living room with meds and water in hand. "Here, take these. I'm going to go change really quick, and then you can pick out your pj's for the night." With a warm smile and a gentle kiss to the forehead, he made his way down the hall and to his room.

It was only a few minutes before San was back by your side. "Alright, gorgeous, let's get you into some comfier clothes." He bent down, picking you up bridal style and carrying you to his bedroom before sitting you gently on his bed. Opening his closet, he motioned his hand to the large selection of sweats as if to say 'take your pick'. Your eyes lit up at the grandiose selection, a delighted smile on your face. Picking out a plain black set, he brought the clothing to the bed and laid it down next to you neatly. "You can change in here. I'll wait in the living room. You have any movie requests? I can order some pizza, if that sounds good to you." You chuckled at how considerate he was. If you were being honest you'd expected him to be a total fuck boy. The flirting at the office and his perfectly styled appearance just screamed 'I'll take your chick and fuck her in front of you'. Yet, even if there was some truth to that, he was actually turning out to be a real gentleman. "You pick the movie, I can never make a decision and my head hurts too much to even try right now. And pizza sounds great, thank you." With a quick nod, he was leaving the room to let you change. Alone in his room, sitting on his bed, you felt a sense of home. His bed was plush and comfortable. You had to fight yourself to get up and change, deciding it'd probably be off putting if he found you curled up under his sheets fast asleep when you never came back.

Walking back you to the living room, you stopped at the entryway, smiling to yourself at the sight before you. San had set up the perfect at home date night. A makeshift pallet full of blankets on the floor, several pillows leaning against the couch, candles flickering on the mantle and end tables. Pizza was sitting on the coffee table, which was pushed off to the side, sitting next to one of the end tables. He'd turned the lights off to make sure the brightness wouldn't cause your headache to worsen and had a movie already pulled up and ready. Thanking the gods for the nth time today, you walked into the living room, taking your place beside San. Handing you your plate, he pressed play on the movie before grabbing his own plate. Both eating now, you looked to the screen, a familiar movie playing. A movie you'd watched many times, usually when you were alone and sad, sobbing into your pillow at the when you heard the line "if you're a bird, I'm a bird." You should've guessed by this point he'd be the type of guy to enjoy romantic movies. What you didn't guess was that he picked this movie so he could see how you reacted. He wanted to see what made you laugh, what made you cry, and what made your eyes shine with want. He wanted to get to know you better and more than just small talk and casual flirting.

Finishing your food, he took your plates and set them on the coffee table. He put his arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him, placing an attentive kiss to the top of your head. Leaning into his touch, resting your head on his shoulder, a content smile grew across your face. Although your headache seemed to be dissipating, the events of the day seemed to be catching up with you. Your eyelids growing heavier by the second. Noticing how your body seemed to grow more relaxed, San wrapped his arms around you and carefully moved the two of into a laying position. In the half awake/ half asleep haze, you softly muttered, "This is perfect. Thank you, Sannie." Your eyes never opening, you nuzzled further into him, your head now rest on his chest, your leg laid across his thighs. The soft touch of his fingers running through your hair and the steady beating of his heart lulling you into the most traquil night of sleep you've had in years. A soft kiss to your forehead and then to the top of your head, San allowed himself to succumb to his own tiredness, truly at ease with you in his arms.

[theculturedmarxist]

>Would a party that declares independence from the culture war even be possible?

I think so. We have to remember that the "culture war" is itself just a proxy for the class war being waged against working people.

For example, in my state a few years ago there was a bunch of bullshit over the "bathroom bill." Dem-controlled Charlotte passed a bill saying that people can use the bathroom of their presented gender, and then Rep-controlled Raleigh countermanded it with a bill of their own saying the opposite. There was a lot of gnashing of teeth over the assault on trans rights and so on, but all of this was in service of covering up what the bill was really about. The second half of the bill not dealing with bathrooms dealt with preventing municipalities from setting minimum wages, safety requirements, and other such things for contract workers.

Another example is this recent shit out of Florida and other places attacking what books school libraries are allowed to have on their shelves, generally having to do with LGBTQ&c content. It's really such nonsense, because how many children are actually being "exposed to" that kind of thing from their school libraries to begin with? But recently I saw an article that tallied up the amount schools have spent having to fight these regulations or the evangelical groups suing them into the billions of dollars. Once again the trans issue is just a cover for reactionaries to attack working people, this time by draining public schools of resources and covering them in acrimony.

Remember also that this "culture war" is happening in a more or less vacuum of working class material interests. Both parties use it as a scapegoat to prevent having to offer working people anything. In either case, if a voter isn't offered something positive to vote for, they'll at least vote against something negative. The average person probably doesn't know a trans person or deal with them in such a substantial way to really have to think about them at all, but when used as a means to threaten their child, either in the sense of "you don't want some DEMOCRAT to trans your beautiful girl into an ugly MAN do you?" or "you don't want some REPUBLICAN to KILL your beautiful trans child do you?" then it becomes a serious issue.

For the most part I really don't think the average person gives much of a shit. Returning to my state's circumstances, right now much of the Western portion is still devastated by hurricane Helene. If a trans person showed up on the remains of someone's doorstep, home destroyed, no power, no heat, no water, no food, with clothes and food and water for them and their children, do you think they're going to turn their nose up? Maybe a few, but I think most people would kiss the feet of the person that kept their children from starving.

And I think that's what we see pretty regularly—people are more concerned with having their material needs met over the ideological source of having those needs met. The average American voter isn't represented by either party because neither one materially meets any of their needs and they have no interest in trying to. In fact, I think if you described the ideal socialist program to the average American they would unequivocally support it.

To provide one such example, when the Amazon Union had its first organizational success after several failures, the union rep was interviewed and talked about what made this time succeed after all the other times failed. Basically he said that the union DID for the workers in the lead up to the vote, providing them with food and weed in addition to their ideological aspirations.

Contrast to the interview with the worker from (iirc) a failed unionization attempt at an auto plant in Kentucky. Ideologically she backed the union 100%. She wanted the union, thought it would be a tremendous help to herself and the other workers there, yet she voted against it. Essentially what she said was "I wanted the union, but I have cancer and the employer threatened to cut our healthcare if we unionized, and that would kill me."

And that's the major stumbling block for the socialist movement in the US right now is that it lacks the ability to materially provide what it ideologically aspires towards. It isn't a defect in theory or lack of zeal, it's just materially unable to. So in spite of a lot of theoretical support for socialism and its ideals, that support hasn't translated into success for the movement, in large part because even when socialists are successful at the polls, the political system as a whole is designed to make translating that success into the sort of material changes which would threaten to unseat the bourgeois parties.

One such example is that the socialists actually did win in Nevada a few years ago. Socialists within the Democratic Party managed to unseat the bourgeois party representatives, and the party responded by basically robbing and starving them of resources, and all the experienced bureaucrats the party's representatives rely on to function all quit. The result was that last year all the elected socialists got unseated in turn by Democrat regulars because they weren't able to parlay their electoral success into actual material gains.

In my opinion the threat of actual material improvements for the working class and what that would entail is what freaked the Democrats out so badly about Bernie Sanders. As much as they squealed and cried about Trump, Sanders actually terrified them. It wasn't his label as a socialist, because to Americans the "Socialist" label is meaningless, just a stand in for whatever scary Bad Thing. What horrified them was a socialist politician getting within spitting distance of having the power to actually provide people with material improvements to their lives. The Democrats aren't afraid to promise or "fight for" a $15 minimum wage or "access to health care," but they are deeply terrified of someone actually providing it.

And I think that is shown both historically with groups like the Black Panthers and the violent reaction generated by their childhood lunch programs, but more recently with the success of the Amazon Union.

The real impediment to socialist political success is that political success itself is insufficient to materialize concrete gains for the people that vote for them, and getting bogged down in "culture war" superficialities exacerbates that. That isn't to say that trans people or their needs should be abandoned, but rather that they need to be a) put in the proper context and b) can't be combated on bourgeois terms.

In 2020 and 2024 both, the Democrats offered trans people nothing except the threadbare hope that by voting for them, they'd be spared the worst predations of the Republicans. The proper socialist position would be that merely being spared from harm isn't enough. Trans people suffer particularly from poverty for example, so merely keeping their circumstances from worsening is insufficient, but that they needs must be improved.

In the current calculus of the American political system, this is theoretically appealing to the average voter. As long as helping trans people doesn't come at their own expense, Americans would generally support such a thing. The problem is whether explicitly known or not, voting for a socialist proposing such a thing would be a losing proposition even if they won. I frequently hear people that they intellectually support third party candidates for example, but "they can't win." Even if a socialist were able to win election to legislature, they would be hamstrung by the fact that they're an enemy of "both sides" with a material interest in seeing them ejected in short order. There are some exceptions like Sawant or Sanders, but that's the general rule.

What I think this means is that at this stage there's an overemphasis on winning political power and trying to beat the bourgeois parties at their own game. I think the social and political organization of the working class is too immature for that at this stage. Rather we must develop the sort of ecosystem of material benefit and support which solves people's problems outside of a hostile electoral system. This doesn't mean electoral politics should be abandoned completely, but rather than winning elections as an end in itself must be de-emphasized.

Returning to the problem of trans poverty for example. I think what would enhance a socialist party's success would be starting a program of partnership with amenable unions to secure trans people positions within them and their industries. This would solve multiple problems at once by providing this theoretical union with members that have incentives to participate and support it, if only out of their own self interest. They'd be indebted to the party for the assistance and if not ideologically converted at least incentivized to support the party in turn. Ideally this would also help the union and the party foster a mutually supportive relationship which would further the goals of both.

The point being, as long as socialist orgs are focused primarily on political contests they can't win, the development of broader working class organization is going to remain retarded. All the small, disparate working class elements existing in the US have to start developing networks of mutual aid and coordination, pooling their resources to in order to provide actual material support to workers outside of whatever crumbs they're able to wrest from the bourgeois state, because otherwise we're resigning ourselves to a Sisyphean political struggle we're unlikely to win.

[theoddest1]

with how the fans and even viv being VERY excited with the “visuals” of poison it’s was very clear that the intended purpose of having those scenes was for porn. Why else would viv be excited for SA scenes and make a cum joke? Not dismissing any SA survivors that felt seen or represented through Angel. I think the bar scene where Angel has a breakdown is good I just hate how they kinda swept everything he said under the rug for a musical, with the episode ending on a happy note and were told not shown that he gets better.

That’s why people kept bringing up moral Orel, silent hill 2 and tuca and Bertie as good SA rep because the abuse is NEVER shown were told or it’s heavily implied it was the aftermath that was shown, nurse bendy is hyper sexual in public but she secretly hates, is lonely and regresses into a little girl playing family with stuffed animals when she’s in her safe space. Angela is depressed/suicidal her only hope is to find her mother so things can get better but she never finds her mom and it’s implied Angela dies, Tuca and struggled with her sexuality and sexual trauma even feels ashamed about having intrusive fantasies of her abuser and thinks that after being SA’d but she is complete control of those situations and it’s her way o healing and even if she wasn’t SA’d she’d still be into those fantasies. It’s too early to say anything about Angel character it might change in season 2 and actually talk more about his trauma especially since the vees are gonna be more prominent (which I call bs because they said the exact same thing about Adam and he didn’t do shit, he only showed up in 3 episodes and he was so underwhelming plus he was the 2nd most powerful being in the show, idk what vox and Val are gonna bring to the table expect be stupid wannabe “mean girls”, plus lute is still around and she is by more powerful and interesing villain) but we have to wait and see, right now I’m indifferent to Angel he’s not a bad character but he’s not the best, sir pentious and nifty outshined him and everybody else, they were the best characters, and they were just joke characters

Viv is very, very obvious with what she seeks involving Angel Dust's character arc. She sees it as an opportunity to recreate a similar situation to Raph's animatic, a 3rd person view surrounding Angel's dilemma rather than Vox's. It's paraded around as though it's a tragic "Love Song" but there is no proper or meaningful way to convey the tragedy surrounding it all. It's an elaborate kink video for those who indulge those sorts of subjects. As you've mentioned, some other known media have handled the topic with much care and didn'tshow it, but this time around, this could have been a great time to make useful imagery to show just how awful the entire situation is. But we don't get that. All of it is glamorized in a pop song with neon lights and no subversion of one's expectations. The only time we are shown any blunt and saddening imagery is when Angel is passed around in bindage gear. The colors change and turn red, and we are faced with a strikingly blunt reality of the situation, but we then see Angel dancing in front of his situation, whiplash of the seriousness pertaining to it all. And while the pacing is better in this episode than most, it's still FAST.

So on top of everything we have a rushed pop song that's supposed to engage the audience in a mindset regarding SA to further think and discuss but it only aided in fueling kink culture and no one has had any strong meaningful discussions when it is about that entire sequence but the kinks sure are THRIVING! Imo, the fact that this side of the community got more outta this than those who love to discuss stories reflects on how unserious and sexual Viv saw it to be, and THAT is what makes Viv's shit representation bad. The remix only solidifies what I had assumed this entire song to sound like. It fails to be commentary, only fuel for a kink someone has, and NEARLY EVERYONE in the community is letting it slide cause of that.

[myunghology]

HOLD ME DOWN.

profiles. hotplay & frontstreet boys. main m.list

✦ [name]

- the classrooms beloved vice president. the grade 12 class representative besides kinich, looks aesthetic and has that clean humor but is possibly the exact opposite. enjoys annoying the shit out of kinich!! besties gotta stay together. they're locked in frfr. "how do you do drugs?? do you have to mix it with water" ahh. relatively smart— always carries in group works / projects.

✦ mualani

- LOUDEST ONE IN THE FG but has the purest soul. always gets told off by the classes' peace officer (aether). #1 mario cart girl! also a beach girl at heart, loves going out! playful bully / teaser, the most active one in the group chat most of the time. has that soft love song music taste— isn't over love songs by kaash paige.

✦ hu tao

- gets told off by aether part 2. pure mischief is in her mind, "what're you thinking about?" trust me you don't wanna know. but every time she gets told off she just goes "uhhh idc leave me alone". has the THICKEST skin out of all the friend group bro. someone stop this girl from getting into her 3rd fight this week please

✦ xingqiu

- the classes' secretary. actually the most helpful one in the class besides [name] and kinich. TEACHERS PET (derogatory), mom of the group?? best in english, always the one who finishes it first when it comes to essay writing. and everyone just stares at him in disbelief when he passes his paper.

✦ aether

- how did bro become the peace officer you had no idea. doesn't look like it but is frequently passive aggressive— pulls on people's sideburns sometimes when they won't shut up HELPP. but is generally nice.. just don't piss him off.. his eyes turn red when he's mad.............

taglist, opened! send in an ask or a comment to be added.

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

The way k-dramas have this opposite side showing to people than what goes on k-side is really something. Not saying like that's not how the world goes but the way i see everyone on other sns have this mindset towards Koreans as how it goes in k-dramas. My own country fans think that's what korea is about.....U know how men in there are, just a few months ago we saw them getting exposed with those telegram groups, them bullying their Olympics female participants over short hair n all. Saw 2 days ago the men victimizing themselves because a korean female writer won an award. She's actually the first female from Asia but here those men being "You can imagine what men in Korea have to go through daily".

Then you have this 21 year old idol having to leave his group because korean fans are mad he had gf and smoked before debut like??? Saw a video of him seeing all those funeral wraths with his own eyes because he walked passed through all of them like nothing is more fked than that shit. And I for a fact know that most of those fans are female fans. There's one picture of the "fans" sitting with those protests all seemed female (if I'm not mistaking what that picture and those banners mean). So these fans and more especially here these female fans (i know male fans for gg would be the same) acting like they own these idols is crazy. Put every single one of them in jail or in a mental hospital cause that mentality is harmful. Him going through this shit at the age of 21 is fked. This is gonna leave a big scar on his life forever but hopefully he'll heal.

I think a lot of damage is being done on the international community side, especially in fandom spaces, due to lack of education. It boils down to that. But of course, the issue is more nuanced. The average age has to be taken into account, but it's the lack of knowledge, critical thinking, mixed in with xenophobia that leads not only to a distorted image of a country and its cultural/social/political aspects, but not knowing how to properly differentiate between real life and advertisement.

Should we expect that anyone who is now interested in Korean entertainment to pick up some articles and read a few things here and there? What lead to the investment in culture and entertainment and how the state was involved? What is the purpose? To what end and for whom is it being promoted and how? No, although it would be ideal. But at the same time, you would think that anyone can understand the difference between an idealized and promoted image to be consumed and the real life. Unfortunately, it is not the case.

It is also not fundamentally wrong that the majority of people rely on k-dramas and kpop to get a glimpse or immerse themselves into another culture. A K-drama or any other type of media product is a narrative fiction that contributes to the creation of imagined, national communities. The mainstream Korean imaginary is created through the help of these mediated audio-visual fictions (this is applicable to other countries, as I myself took the terms from an analysis of American culture and its effects on Europe. Don't take my interpretation as a rule of thumb though, I haven't done any research into my response).

Popular Korean entertainment is meant to create a very specific image of national identities and values, but it clashes with other realities (which are also represented through fiction, but that's more marginalized). It is on us to be able to navigate between all these aspects, but my god, there's a lot of stupid people out there.

(It's interesting how my introduction to SK as an adult was through Kim Ki-Duk's films. I was hit with extreme levels of representation of violence and mysogyny, but also an incredible beauty in a controversial filmography. Nothing near the fantasy of the "CEO falls in love with the poor young girl in an environment that screams advertisement").

As to the idol who was pressured to leave the group, unfortunately SM set a very dangerous precedent with their decision and it has been pointed out a lot in the past 24h. The company is telling so-called fans that their strategies work and that they have power over idols.

For them, idols are a commodity, hence why they become enraged and talk about their time and money which they have invested in them. It's a really dark way to think of these entertainers through this capitalist lense. Which is not particular to k-pop, it happens in any entertainment industry. But it slowly leads more and more to the dehumanization of idols. And that's a consequence of companies and fans. They are at fault for creating and perpetuating such a system.

[bangytell]

I hate you | sg m

You see my eyes boy, I just can't keep 'em off you, turning me on, I-I just can't see through you. Tonight —Doja cat ft Eve

Summary: Your high school bully can't contain himself once you're alone

Genre: smut, enemies to lovers

Rated: mature, +18

Pairing: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader

Word Count: 4.7 k pff i let myself gooo

Warnings: fem! reader, mentions of Geto and his two cute daughters (Nanako and Mimiko), mentions of past history between reader and Geto, oral and fingering (f! receiving), unprotected sex (don't do this girl's), mentions of pet names, sg! bully, kinda canonhead. Most of the events are based on the manga, and some are my beliefs and fiction.

a/n: Look, i needed some enemies to lovers and put it out of my system, so here it is.

Getting scolded by your teacher was becoming your new routine, and it's not even your fault. As you repeat yourself over and over while the other person involved tries to scream from above your words.

"I'm tired of getting dragged to this issue with you, Satoru Gojo." he scoffs and looks at you with a cocky grin adorning his lips

"It's not like it's pleasant to be around you either" you gasp and walk away with the permission of your teacher.

Suguru Geto approaches you with an embarrassed look accompanying his lovely features and your heart sinks at the sight.

"Hey [name] don't be so harsh on him, i think he has a crush on you" you scoff at his words and continue your pace away.

This new year at this new high school hasn't been all pleasant, you thought that maybe following that advice of going to the sorcerer school will help polish your abilities. And it has been, ignoring the fact that Satoru Gojo always seems to find a new way to pick on you, and you don't actually understand why you certainly are not the strongest, and he had to rescue you and your partner on a mission about two times now. You know what Satoru represents, coming from that rich family and being the strongest man there is, having that cocky grin attached to his face and the round sunglasses he's always wearing as if they're glued to his face, he annoys the shit out of you, and you're pretty sure that he definitely feels the same about you.

A new class awaits you, and having to share the same classroom annoys you, just by thinking about it.

Shoko and Geto greets you, and as you try to have a calm conversation, the teacher comes in, a few minutes later Gojo decides to show up as well.

"Late again Mr. Satoru" he snorts and grabs a sit on Geto's side.

"Y'all be having a mission today, just a quick and easy exorcism at Tokyo" you and Shoko grabbed hands in excitement and all fades away when your teachers speak up once more "Gojo and [name] will be going together and Shoko and Geto will partner up as well"

What?...

"I thought you said it was only one quick and easy" the teacher arches an eyebrow

"Yea' teacher i don' think they even have to go, Geto and I can get everything done" Gojo interrupt you half speech

Your teachers angry frown doesn't disappear and you rather not to pick up the fight this time

After a few more protests from Gojo the teacher let you guys know all the details of the two places that have incidents occurring, Geto and Shoko took the abandoned house and Gojo and you took the abandoned school.

Just arriving the atmosphere was gloomy and having to bear with complaints and sighs from your partner wasn't actually helping at all.

"That which frightens more than dark itself" you begin to speak as Gojo stretches himself "That which is darker than black" the veil begins to cover around the perimeter "...purifies impurities"

Gojo looked your way and said

"Don't get in my way, thanks for the veil but i'll do all the hard work" you scoff at his words and before you have a chance to speak again he disappears from your sight.

His arrogance doesn't even allow help.

You pass the entrance and begin to notice small and many curses, but why won't they?...

You turn around to a massive curse, as you pull your sword, the monster grabs you and you drop the prompt not being able to move.

Fantastic, now you're at his stomach, where is Gojo when you need him.

Two little boys caught your attention once you stop looking around for any clues on going out.

"Miss, please, help me" once you notice one little boy has his arm crushed, twisted even. You step closer and try to say comfort words to them, you look for that little knife on your ankle and begin to try and open up that beast

Your phone isn't working, and the little boys are looking stressed and desperate. You try to escape, is this all you can do? At the end Gojo was right? and you were nothing but a weak sorcerer.

Suddenly the ground beneath you disappears and as you fall you feel a gentle hand hugging from the waist and the warmth of a body saving you from falling. Gojo’s face is full of mucus and viscosity.

“Ohh, [name] you cryin’?” you scoff while looking at the little kids hanging from his other arm

“I am not crying’” he scoffs and pulls that cocky grin

“I believe that you’re trying to thank me, you can also pay me or even get my autograph” his tone was cocky and sarcastic

“Well grab a chair so you can wait on all of those, and let go of me” he drops you onto the floor, and with the help of your hands, you manage to not harm yourself even more.

“A thank you can do the trick” you huff and stand up after settling well on the ground

“Thank you” his cocky grin doesn’t leave his lips as he looks your way

“Oh, i’ll never let you forget about this” he chuckles and you notice a notch on his right arm, it’s leaking blood and your fingers try to touch it just to make sure that you’re looking correctly.

“Tsk, that hurt” he flinches at your touch and you’re now sure that it is what you were looking

“Your arm is bleeding” you rip your shirt and you wrap his arm with it he’s looking fondly while you’re self-absorbed on the task “I thought that infinite wouldn’t make you any harm” he huffs and makes a pout

“It isn’t perfect yet, it must have happened in a second while i didn’t noticed” you make your way downstairs while he literally just floats down

“You don’t have to be perfect” you say, once you’re reunited again, and for the first time in weeks you’re talking as two civilized people and not like you’re looking to rip his head off.

“But I am expected to” he looks hopeless, as if this matter wasn’t something he had discussed with himself more than once. And for the first time you think of him as a person, as a human being trying to fit into that stereotype of being perfect in everything giving his clan, you feel sympathy.

“I think that you’re strong and that should be enough” his eyes glow and the veil rises in front of you as you walk through it.

Geto and Shoko are on the other side, looking as fresh as the day while you almost saw death today.

Gojo and Geto begin to play while Shoko checks up on you, and that was it for a moment. Gojo begins to scoff at you for saving you, and claiming you were crying, you told Geto about the incision on his arm and he pouts while Geto and you laugh at him.

Nothing good lasts forever, you train your ass off and while Gojo and Geto are away on this special mission everything around you looks slow and gray, as if Geto and Gojo were the fun and colors of your classroom.

Shoko and you go out a few times after training and after a few days you begin to look Geto a bit gloomy, as if something in that mission had made him change, something within him just snapped.

On training while Gojo explains his technique you notice Geto lose himself in thought, you call his name, and he gifts you with a soft smile.

“Are you alright?” he nods but the bags beneath his lower eyelid tells you otherwise, his nihilistic smile disappeared and he just doesn’t look like Geto to you

“Have you been eating?” Gojo asks looking at Geto “You look thin, don’t eat just cold noodles” he doesn’t laugh, he doesn’t look alive to you.

You reach out to Gojo, and tell him about your concerns, he says that is alright, that he says so… but you can’t bring the idea to believe him.

“C’mon Gojo just talk to him, maybe he’ll talk to you, you’re his best friend” he nods and notices the serious tone and look

“Thanks, i’ll talk to him” you smile and leave for your dorm.

Days went by, your friends weren’t that close anymore, Geto and Gojo would leave alone while you and Shoko were together, Haibara passed away and graduation was just around the corner, you became a competent sorcerer yourself; certainly not the best, but pretty strong.

With the help of your parents you found a nice apartment, it was small but you could turn it into a home.

Days passed you by, and work as a sorcerer was exhausting, but kept your fridge full and that was it. You haven’t seen any of your classmates beside Shoko everytime you got hurt, which was more than you could count.

As you rested one day, you got a call, it was an unknown number, but even then you chose to answer.

Soft pants and a faint sound of a fire made the way through your ear.

“[Name] are you home?” Geto? this late at night… well that was…

“Uhmm, yea’ sure, are you alright?” he’s still panting and you hear a few muffled voices

“Can you call Satoru and tell him to meet me at your house?” you’re more than confused now

“I’m not sure if Satoru would want to…-” he cuts you mid sentence

“Please [name]” he sobs and you nod, it’s that serious and his tone is soft and needy

“I’ll call him, jus’ get here safe” he hangs up and you call his number, the one you taught you’ll never have to see again, but Suguru was a really good friend and you’ll do it for him.

He answers, finally with that cocky tone of his.

“Suguru called me and told me if you could come to my apartment” he huffs and you can almost see his grin

“Why wouldn’t he call me?” that seemed to hurt his ego

“Jus’ come to my apartment and try to be quick, I don’t know how serious the situation is” he agrees and you text him the address.

Satoru gets first and now you’re in this awkward silence waiting for Suguru.

A few knocks announce his arrival, Gojo opens the door for him and his temple changes as quick as he notices the two little girls by his feet.

“What did you do?” Gojo breaks the silence and Geto scoffs

“[Name] can you give them a bath?” you nod, stand from your sofa and ask just one question

“You have cash, Geto?” he holds his neck and denies, you point at Gojo and his confused look pierce at you “Go with him and buy the girls some clothes” Suguru knew you wouldn’t make unnecessary questions and his template relaxes “Grab a shirt from my closet Suguru, and don’t take long” both of the men walk along outside while you prep them the warm water and asks for their names.

In the meantime Gojo has an angry frown at Suguru, he huffs while he walks to the closest store he can notice.

“You’re probably wondering why I didn’t call you first” Satoru huffs “I knew you were at the school and I couldn’t let them hear me, not right now” they enter the store and now wonder what little girls would use, and what size they were?

“So you call [name]? Is this some type of payback?” he huffs and asks a lady that works there for the girls clothing

“I know your history, but she’s the only one with a house, and I trust her Satoru, I know you do too” after some thought Geto grabs two dresses in the size he thinks they’ll fit.

“Why are you adopting two girls?” he closes his eyes and walks the way back to your home

“Let’s wait so [name] can hear me out too” Satoru nods.

You’re washing away dirt and blood as they laugh at something you said and you hear your front door opening. Suguru hands you the dresses he picked and as you dressed them, Satoru looks fondly at your actions, so carefully looking after them and being so gracefully doing so.

You put the girls to bed and an angry frown adorns your face.

“Start talking Sugu” He's sitting at your couch with Satoru by him.

“They gave me this mission” his voice is raspy and sharp “The humans had this girls locked up, and they were talking trash of them, and…” warm tears began to adorn his temple, with a broken voice and the tears streaming down he confessed to have murder everyone, every human at the village… “And I still don’t feel a remorse in me”

Both for you and for Satoru this felt like a shock, your high school best friend is telling you he committed murdered, and you think that it was for a cause

“They tortured the little girls?” he nods and Satoru stands up and walks away to your kitchen “They thought they were the monsters but [name], how can a little girl understand the world like they do?” his voice was still squeaky and Satoru returned with his eyes uncovered gazing between you and his best friend

“You know what the higher ups would say?” he nods, already knowing damn well

“Satoru, please understand me, I…-” you interrupt him mid sentence, looking at Gojo

“Whatever his acts lead him to do, we can’t let him go through it alone, none of us has to go through any of the things this jobs has for us, stop hiding yourself from us, stop being distant and include us, me" with your gaze directly to Suguru and that demanding tone he's so fond of ",Shoko even Nanami would help you but stop pushing yourself away” your gaze pierced between the two man in front of you

“Thank you [name]” Suguru speaks up between the tears and you think this is the first time he has actually broken down, you kneel in front of him and offer a hug while the tears fill your blouse, Satoru stands beside you and rubs his hand on his friend’s back.

“I’m going to have to step up for you with the higher ups don’t I?” Suguru laughs and nods in agreement.

Y’all agreed the girls should stay with you until Satoru talks with the higher ups about the whole situation, and right now, besides having to see the boy that bullied you at school you also have to look after two beautiful kids. Life gives turns. Geto shows up everyday, plays with the little girls and expects a call from Satoru. One afternoon, while making dinner, your door announces someone on the other side.

“Coming!” you shout from the kitchen as you make your way to the door.

Gojo is at the door with a bag full of you don’t know what, greets you with a nod and walks to the little girls in the living room. You return to the kitchen, and you don’t notice the man who’s now behind you.

“Look at you, all maternal mode” you scoff

“You only came by to laugh at me? We’re over high school, when are you going to stop being the brat you are?” he holds his chests and fakes pain

“I’m waiting on Suguru, he asked if i could get the girls new clothes, so I did” you continue your cooking as you wait for the food to be ready.

“So now I'm your boyfriend and you host house?” he chuckles

“I’ll take a partner to a better place than this” you huff and release your hands from the gloves you’re wearing

“You’re welcome to see your way to the door” you try to reach him, but his curse technique wouldn’t even allow it. “Agh, Satoru Gojo you’re a pain in the ass”

Nanako announces her way to the kitchen, and Mimiko follows right after with “I'm starving” “Is food ready yet?”

Suguru opens the door with the spare key you gifted him and the little girls run after him to hug and greet him.

“They weren’t that happy when I arrived” Gojo says with a pout

“Probably because your presence annoys everyone” he huffs and you walk to hug Suguru, he holds you by the waist and his cologne makes you forget all the bad things around, which means Satoru.

“Dinner is ready and I hope Satoru has good news for us” when your gaze meets his, he looks… hurt.

“Ah, yes! the higher ups agreed on you being at school, with minor conditions, but you can return” you hug Suguru once more while looks at his friend with a smile

After that Suguru takes the little ones to the school where now his mission has to be with a partner and your house feels empty now that it’s just you again.

You’re on a mission with one of Satoru’s students while he told you was busy with something else, the kid is quiet and you find him within the same range of cockiness as Satoru as he tells you that he can go on his own and work it out. You wait at the other side of the veil while going through your social media. Is Satoru uploading pictures from Iwate with Suguru and the girls, was that the thing he was busy with? Oh you’re going to kill him.

The phone begins to sound as you wait for his response, after the fourth ring he greets you.

“You lied to me, you looked me dead in the eye and lied to me” he burst into laugh while you snort

“Listen to me, Gojo Satoru, one thing is to call me weak, to make me feel unworthy of anything and to annoy the shit out of me, but to lie to me?!” you shout and he’s still laughing

“I’m going to help Megumi finish this mission and I’m not covering for you tomorrow”

“Oh c’mon [name]yyy don’t be a party pooper” you snort and you don’t know where it’s coming from but you talk out of anger

“Fuck you Satoru, and you better return or I dismiss your class for the day but I ain’t helping you no more” and you hang u before he could answer to you.

Not long after Megumi is out the veil and looks at your angry frown, he follows you the way back to campus without saying a word.

Once in campus you shout inside the classroom “I fucking hate you Satoru Gojo” his students hear but decide that is better if they don’t tell a soul about that, especially you since you seem so upset.

Satoru, Suguru and the girls return not soon after, you’re nowhere to be found around the campus and Satoru actually feels like he owes you at least an apology.

Before arriving with Shoko to ask for you he listens to your squeaky voice; “Shoko, I hate him, there’s nothing more I can ever feel for him than hatred” you spit as Shoko looks at you inexpressive

“I know he lied but…” you interrupt her mid sentence

“No, Shoko, to him I am merely a person who deserves anything, he doesn’t respect me and i’ve have had it with him” you snort

“You can’t do that you’re colleagues” she reasons

“Well then, watch me, I don't care about the world for Satoru Gojo anymore” he knows you’re serious, based on your tone and if he peeked he knew the face you’re making while spitting out those words.

The next few days went by smoothly for you, you visited Suguru and made sure to leave before Satoru went as well, Suguru tried to convince you to talk to him but you refused.

“He still doesn’t even happened to look for me, he doesn’t care, his ego and blindfold wouldn’t let him see past himself”

One night you had to stay on campus because there was a big storm coming and you couldn’t drive or walk home.

The rain was heavy while you and Shoko smoked a cigarette at the terrace of the building

“Have you seen Satoru lately?” you deny while the vapor escapes your mouth “He seems… down”

“Bad for him” you snort and she denies as she finishes her cigarette.

She leaves while you stay to stare at the pouring rain, the sound of the door opening and a few steps announce someone is out there as well.

“Shoko, if you want another cigarette i already finished the whole package” and you hear a soft chuckle, but that isn’t Shoko.

“Since when are you a smoker” Gojo asks and you look away

“Not that you care” he sighs and sits next to you “I didn’t invite you”

“This space is for anyone” you roll your eyes in annoyance and stand up to leave but he holds you by the wrist “C’mon [name] stay” you sigh and sit again.

“Be in silence” he cross his finger through his heart and after a minute of silence he releases a big sigh out of his chest

“I know what you’re problem is” he says and you gaze him

“Yea’? I know what you’re problem is” he chuckles and then you continue “You’re a self-absorbed, self centered, selfish and a spoiled little brat” he continues to chuckle and then he talks

“I think that you’re problem is that you need to get laid” you open your eyes, flabbergasted

“I’m not discussing my love life with you, let alone my intimacy” a soft chuckle escapes him and you snort

“Like if there’s a love life to begin with”you huff

“And why do you care?” you stand up, next to him

“Because you being all gloomy and depressed it has to be because you haven’t got riled in a long time, you can tell”

“I am not gloomy and depressed”he smiles, standing up and the height difference makes you tilt your head even higher, he’s closer to you, his hot breath hitting your face as he slowly gets closer and closer making you take a step back.

“You didn’t deny that you need to get railed” you snort and before you try to take a step back you tumble with a chair and almost fall. If it weren’t for a firm hand holding you from your waist to keep you in balance.

“Pff, let go of me, you don’t know what I need, stop acting like you cared” he sighs and pulls the heat of his hand away from your body

“I don’t care, I jus’ want to be in good terms so Suguru would shut up about the girls wanting to go out all together” you looked at him, puzzled

“Sugu didn’t said that to me” he tries to avoid your gaze as he finds words to explain

“Yea’ ‘cause he knows that it's my fault that you don’t wanna talk to me” you chuckle

“Is this your weird way of giving an apology? you suck at’em” he nods and try to get close to you again

“Then let me ask for forgiveness in a way I know” you’re confused as his hands make their way to your waist, and your hands hold his chest so he can’t be close to you

“Have you lost your mind Satoru? What’s with the sudden…?” he puts his lips in yours and your mind becomes a foggy mess once he begins to kiss you, his hands pull you closer as you give into his soft lips. The kiss started to deepened when Satoru opened his mouth to let his tongue licks inside your mouth a soft moan escaped your lips and he pulled your body to lift you and your legs found the way to lock with his body, he took you to his dorm, neat and clean almost as if he wasn’t there at all. His body hovers over yours and by now your mind begins to wonder what is it that made you be beneath him and why were you?

Soon your thoughts flew away as Satoru’s lips kissed you in the neck, then cup your breasts on his hand as he toys with you perky nipple, he then frees you of your shirt and his eyes glow with the light of the moon when you unbutton your bra and toss it to the floor, his mouth soon found the way to your breasts, and as he licks and suck at your nipples soft moans escape your mouth

“C’mon Satoru stop playin’ jus’ fuck me please” you plead and he releases your nipple, smiles cocky and makes his way to your pajama, he then puts the cloth away and focuses on those laced panties you’re wearing.

“You put these on for me? Huh? for me to enjoy the sight” you scoff

“The world doesn’t move around you” he moves the panties aside and with his digits found your clit, he begins to rub it, making you moan, pant and gasp with each stroke.

“Look at you, all worked up by my fingers baby” the bulge within his pants started to hurt, he wanted, no, he needed to be inside you. His mouth soon began to lick and suck your bullied cunt, swallowed and dripping wet, his digits made their way inside your pussy again and he groaned at the way you almost screamed at the sensation.

“ ‘m so close Toru, ‘m gonna cum” oh those saccharine moans and the way you called him have his soaring dick yearning to be inside of you

“No, no coming yet baby, I still haven’t fucked you dumb yet” he steps away leaving your dripping cunt unattended, soon after disposing the fabric and the cold send shivers to both of your body he begins to rub his dripping tip to your pussy, soon after he introduces himself inside of you and he pants and gasp at the sensation of your cunt, how good it squeeze him and how tight you are.

“ So tight, your pussy is so tight just for me, huh?” you nod, not finding your voice within you to give an answer. He begins to thrust in and out of you and each stroke makes you feel like you’re about to faint.

“ Feel so good my love, you take me in so good” he pants and you bury your nails to his back, calling his name like a prayer and he began to rub your clit and with each thrust you felt closer to the orgasm, he was ripping your pussy open making you feel as if in any moment your back will split into two, the sound of the skin crashing into each other and the sweat you could notice from Satoru’s forehead it was all becoming blurry, a few more strokes into your sweet spot and the rubs in your clit made you come squeezing his dick in between your walls. Soon after he groaned into your ears as you felt the cum inside of you, leaking and making you feel full. He stood up, went to his bathroom and brought back a towel for you. He helped you clean yourself as you try to gain conscience once again. He covered you with his blanket and sat next to you, covering your face.

“Why so embarrassed now?” you scoff and his cocky grin greets you once you peek

“I shouldn’t have done this, not in the school, not with you”

“As if this is your first time” you gasp and he chuckles

“Yea’ I know about that time with Geto” you covered your face again

“But i was a teenager” you say through the fabric

“No regrets at that time, why now?” you sit down and look at him

“I didn’t hated Geto” he grins

“Oh, you hate me?” you nod and he leans to kiss you “I also hate you, i hate you so much, how about i fuck you until we forget about that” you scoff, that brat was going to be the death of you.

©️bangytell please do not copy or steal my work, any translation can’t be done this is the only way to read it.

[mapplesand]

i'm gonna yap about Morbid Minds once again because i can but I just wanna talk about the themes and what I talk about in the story because it may be interesting idk

writing actual people and real life shit

what i try to keep in mind when writing the story is that I want to tell a realistic story about a bunch of weird teens and I will absolutly not shy away from every details that may be seen as taboo or too much

because i feel like we've seen a way too polished version of story about teens like come on, nobody is perfect let them be actual loser, let them say stupid shit, learn from it and do better, let's them be absolute weirdo and get smacked for it, god have you seen high school dudes, they're like fucking menace and they say weird shit all the time, why not show that

plus it's funnier to write character who will say and do unhinged things, why do fantasy writers get a pass in writing morally gray characters but suddenly it looks weird when you do it in contemporary fiction (yeah, i know it hit closer to home and you have to be more careful with what you write, but let's make story about weird people in modern days too you know)

putting outcast on the spotlight (and the neurodivergent experience)

and then there's the obvious reason why I called the story "morbid minds", the fact that I chose to write about character like Marco who are troubled teen, the kind that you wouldn't want to meet in real life, the kid teacher don't want to deal with because they think he's a lost cause

basically the abused victim nobody care about because they're not reacting the "appropriate" way for a victim, the kind that is actually violent and gets into fight, and I feel like people with bad coping mechanism and with a "difficult" personality are either not represented or demonized for having these emotions and not knowing how to deal with them, how about we gave those people a story that treat them with humanity for once

Marco isn't your typical main character because he's basically a bitch and a weirdo, there's a reason why people think he's a school shooter lol some of you guys would probably call him that too if you went to school with him (because we're all capable of being bullies in some ways) but I feel like this makes it more interesting to follow, I mean, people want flawed characters right ? so here you go, have a weirdo who likes guns and beating up people, who can't communicate or hate himself so much he thinks he's not worth loving, have that guy who stalks girls before getting hit with being bisexual and not knowing how to process that information while dealing with toxic masculinity, i mean you get the gist

also, my story relies a lot on neurodivergent and queer experience for example Marco has ADHD but the most notable one are Tristan and Tyler who are autistics

and again, even if we're getting more autistic rep (finally) we're still a long way from the variety of autism experience, that's why I chose to gave some space for my weird autistic and their weirdass special interest lol Tristan often forget that he exists and has a special interest on school shooting, the movie Elephant and had a huge horror phase (creepypasta, horror movies, gore) like of course he sounds more sane than Marco but that's mostly because he went through shit and had to be the bigger person in his own life or else everything would have fell apart, but he's very much as strange as Marco, he's the one that stayed with him after all

Tyler got the actual offputting autism, the one that makes you stare at people with a straight face, the one where people are scared of you because you never smile (but it's just your normal face) he's pretty blunt in all the wrong ways, doesn't social properly and never say the right thing at the right time, he has no shame when he's with people he trusts and can often break boundaries if no one tell him exactly what he's not supposed to do

and all those experience matter to me as a writer because they're all under represented in media because there's really not a lot of neurodivergent stories lol (and also it matters to me as i am also a weird autistic guy, i'm not pulling all of this out of nowhere, i share a lot of traits with Tristan and Tyler, hell even if Marco is the opposite of me he still react a lot like a part of myself that would probably be more unhinged if I wasn't just Tristan IRL)

related to the first point, talking about sex but not in a weird way

this may sounds weird as fuck but it's actually really not, i'm aware i'm writing a bunch of high schoolers but that's also the thing, if you've been in school then you cannot tell me you've never heard guys talk about sex, where are you from, another planet ? because i've seen shit in middle school when i was in 8th grade, and god this was a lot (guys in my friends group talking about hentai, i mean you know those things)

so that's why it's related to the first point, writing real life without filter, but what does that mean exactly ? well apart from not censoring problematic shit a 15 yo guy could say (and boy can a 15 say a lot of bullshit), there's also the fucking fact that Marco who is the main character is a porn addict like i can't just put it under the rug, he has problems with masculinity that leads to sexism and then he also watch porn to fill the void because he has depression, that's like, pretty basic experience actually, you don't know how many people fill the void with sex and stuff like that

when i say all this, it's not to be all weird, i'm ace and I think sex is stupid and everyone makes a huge deal about, so I decided hell, i'm gonna talk about it because it's just,,,, a pretty normal thing most people do, it's not a big deal, some people do that, some people don't, who cares, I think we should have less taboo about it just so people can communicate better, that's what i'm trying to do when i talk about sex in the story

it's just an open conversation between the characters, mostly about putting limits, the characters do get frisky here and there but it's never described, what i do is write the dumb shit it may ensure tho, again, because shit happens, you'll get cum on your shirt and here, you go a funny scene about dumb characters and they get a good laugh about it (and it's both a funny scene and a sweet scene in some ways), i mean it's that easy, idk if i'm clear when i'm rambling about my thoughts process there ?? it's just, man people do that and it's not perfect, let's at least talk about it so people feel less embarrassed about it

i'm improvising everything there, sorry if it sounds messy, but i wanna get back to the putting boundaries stuff, because i feel like it's important to show characters that are both talking about it and also being like "hey let's just wait you know" or stuff like that, it's so simple and i don't think we should make a big deal about it, it's just life and i'm putting it in my story, truly that's how i view it, even if the characters suck at communication they can't just do shit without asking and since they're all awkward about it they just need to fucking talk about it even if it's embarrassing and they don't even know what to say

anyway, let's not make a bif deal about sex, it's just sex, it's gonna happen sometimes, teens have sex, it happens, they just need to be able to talk about it or else it will lead to bad decision making and we don't want that in both the real world and in a story

i feel like i'm forgetting a lot here fuck, if I think of anything else i'll probably update it but I think that's already a big chunk of what i think is important about Morbid Minds and why I like writing it so much

[ceasarslegion]

Hey man I just wanted to give you condolences for how hard this work shit is causing you to struggle. Just one of those things everyone has their own crosses to bear in regards to toxic workplaces. If you are considering a change in careers I'm sure it can't be too hard to translate your experience to somewhere less intense.

Thank you 😭

I just need to get out of this specific place to somewhere that let's me rest and get my ducks in a row from here. It sucks to be at a part of my life where I realize I'm not doing what makes me happy and I have to start all over. My 20s have felt like an endless cycle of starting all over honestly, but my family tells me that's normal for your 20s and it's why they suck so bad and that I'm doing fine for a 25 year old. They've told me in a worst case scenario I could come crash with them and be a paid farmhand at my aunt and uncles cattle ranch while I figure things out, but I'm not a country guy at all. It would make me so much mentally worse to leave the city, but at least I have a nuclear option if things really blow up in my face. I'm not in danger of being utterly out of work with no roof over my head or food to eat.

I think the security industry has just gone to hell honestly. It used to be a respectable and livable job where you were trusted to handle things and weren't expected to put your life on the line for customer service experience or whatever. You could bring your books and little things to play with while on guard duty because no one expected you to just stare at the fucking wall for 8 straight hours if there was nothing to respond to. I actually first got into security early on in uni because it allowed me to do my schoolwork at work so I could balance school and finances without being utterly devoid of free time or sacrificing my sleep. As long as the checklist got done and the building was still standing at the end of my shift, they were happy.

Now they treat us like a hybrid between emergency responders and customer service representatives. We aren't emergency responders, we're supposed to be the mid ground responders. Yknow, the incidents that need intervention but aren't threats to public safety. You don't call the cops on someone screaming at the service staff or the fire department when you lock yourself out, you call security. In recent years it's turned into "well what can you do to both curtail actual emergencies and make their *experience* better?" That's not my job!! Nowhere in my job description or certifications does it say I'm a first responder! I'm not supposed to be! I'm the guy who assigns tasks and keeps everyone's head screwed on when the emergencies happen but I am not the guy who puts my own life in danger to solve them. Do not ask me to do that for 23 bucks an hour and no mental health benefits and then ask me why the guy screaming at me wasnt happy with his experience today, what's wrong with all of you

Luckily my old work friend got out and found work doing like, proper big boy government aviation security for celebrities and political figures. She tells me there's no drama or mean girl bullshit there because there's only like 5 of them and there's no need to prove themselves to each other. And it starts a whole wealth bracket above what I make now. I gave her my credentials and CV and she said she'd pass them on and put in a good word for me, so I hope that goes somewhere. Other than that my like regular schedule now is waking up and going right to my pc to open the city job board and hitting apply on everything I even remotely could do

Sorry this turned into a bit of a rant man, I really do appreciate the gesture. And as a general sentiment, please be nice to security guards. We're going through enough as it is

[dozyrogue]

I wanna scream

Tallulah, empanada, and sunny PLZ TALK

Sunny felt left out and sad when she saw Tallulah and empanada getting along and chit chatting so she excused herself and went to the safe place. And she's too much like her father cuz she's ok with just letting people pass her by.

As panda and Tallulah were talking panda kept trying to talk to sunny as well but sunny kept running from her.

The reason shes upset with panda is cuz, she saw first hand how bitter??? Untrusting?? Tallulah has been to sunny, so to see empanada be happy and girl talk with Tallulah fucking hurt her.

Then there's Tallulah she's ready to open up and start accepting and befriending the new eggs. Which is great development for her!! Even if its really small steps. She's getting along with em trying to show kindness to sunny. Gave them both flowers. And then when Tallulah saw sunny walk away she herself walked because she thought she was making sunny uncomfortable so she dipped.

Then there's empanada who honestly i don't know the most about, so I'm trying. She's also had some conflict with the older girls as well. Tallulah has always been a bit more approachable to her I believe?? And now she's actively talking to her basically offered a olive branch. But she's also very very close to sunny, theyre siblings!! Best friends!! This is the person (next to ramon) that sunny turned to after she accepted the fact that Tallulah doesn't want her to be friends.

And she was so upset when sunny started ignoring her, trying to get her attention but just looking at tubbo so heart broken

So to sunny it feels like betrayal in someway, cuz like I said panda has seen it first hand.

This also goes into the thing I said before where, when Tallulah feels ready to be friends doesn't mean sunny now is ready after being treated so mean??

(I'm using bitter and mean very sparingly I don't know better words sorry guys)

I'm glad Tallulah feels like she can start reaching out, I'm sad em probably feels like she needs to choose between the too, and I'm sad sunny feels like she lost the only other friend she had.

These eggs represent girlhood to well I'll scream I'm having flashbacks shit free me

[apricotbuncakes]

Sander Sides fans: Did anyone else do this?

So when I was super-duper deep in the Sander Sides fandom (I'm still there just not as intensely!) I made my own sides, as many of us did. I decided to keep my creativity from splitting because I grew a love for macabre types of media very young, and never felt bad for enjoying it, even writing my own stories with morbid and gross themes. but that left me unbalanced because now I only had five sides instead of six, so what else should I have be a side? Well, I'm trans... so why not dysphoria!

And so, I designed a side based off of my dysphoria, the only girl side I have (the others are either guys or nonbinary with more masculine gender expressions). I wanted to make her evil, to make her intentionally rude, but I couldn't help but make her nice and kind like how I was when I was younger, which is why she's just oblivious to how she makes others feel rather than malicious because that's how I was. I was oblivious to how my comments may have hurt others.

So when she would talk to my other sides and try to give compliments, it had the unintended effect of making them self-conscious or dysphoric, and none of them told her this (because that's how I was in real life for a time: I didn't feel like I could tell people that they were causing me distress). She would tell my other sides that they look pretty, beautiful, ask them if they wanted to put on makeup or try cutsie outfits with her. She was alienated even in myself, because no one wanted to be around her, and she didn't understand why.

She didn't represent inherently bad things. She was the epitome of confidence, femininity, fun in self-expression. But it was the 'wrong kind' of self-expression (at least that's what I believed at the time). She didn't represent masculinity in the slightest, and it put the other sides off from her, because they had sworn it off the moment I came out as trans, because that's what would make people believe me when I said I was a boy. But they still needed her to be a scapegoat for all their bad body image issues, a model for what they should avoid doing. She was an example of 'bad' and 'wrong', even though she had been nothing but kind.

I made her a clown (the red curly hair, white foundation, all of it). She was frilly and pink, and very stereotypically feminine, something that I was struggling to admit that I actually liked when I first came out, cuz ya know, I wanted people to take me seriously as a trans guy (now I don't give a shit and wear what I want lol). She was a fun character though (and ended up inspiring the look for another OC). She was bubbly and cute, think Pinky Pie vibes. And because I wanted to pass it off and make it someone else's problem, I gave her my deadname.

I had heard of this trick where trans people name something else their deadname as a way to disconnect it from themselves and make them happier to hear it, because it remind them of something cool or cute, something they love. But I did it out of spite. And then... then I didn't.

Over time I stopped associating my deadname with myself, stopped responding to it most of the time. It was hers now, and not mine. And I was happy, because I designed someone who was happy to take that name away from me, happy to say that her name was Robin, and it was suddenly no longer my problem. And once everything she represented started to seem less and less bad (because she was a part of me, how could something she enjoy be bad?) I started to get more comfortable looking to her for outfit ideas. I asked myself "Would Robin approve of this? Would she like this outfit?" and then I no longer felt bad for wearing dresses and skirts and feminine things. I became happy and comfortable with it.

And then I rewrote the dynamics of my sides. They love her now, get confidence when she says they look pretty. They ask her for makeup advice and look to her for inspiration (even my creativity). She is no longer bad or wrong for being feminine, and it's what's made her so interesting.

The other sides don't always want to be feminine, and they've finally explained to her why. And she respects that, and only offers her opinions on their presentation when asked. And suddenly, my sides are at peace with each other.

So uh, yeah. Make yourself characters to represent parts of yourself. It's lots of fun and can also be super helpful for problem solving.

Here's my sides name in case you're curious: Logic: Arthur (Like King Arthur, because book nerd who likes fantasy lol) Morality: Milo (After the Milo and Otis movie) Creativity: Jackson (Named after a friend who inspires me) Anxiety: Clyde (No clue why, I just like this) Deceit: Avery (A very pretty name!) Dysphoria: Robin (Literally my deadname lol)

[frostythefrostedfox]

I can't really see sonamy working out in the long run, either one of or both characters would have to be ooc if they were a couple, I can only see it as alot of giving and sacrificing mostly from Sonic's end, because so far shown in the games canon, Amy hasnt had alot of patience with him and wants a more typical kind of relationship with sonic with dating and all that, which sonic just isnt all that in to.

Considering how much the average sonamy fanbrat clings for dear life to two tposing models in a leaked screenshot and one out of context leftover line, it has always seem like they are looking for validation rather than consensus, they tend to turn any conversation from "exposition of motives" to "explaining why i am right", and you cant win that one, you never will.

The reason why so much sonamy related stuff feels so OOC for both of themy care very little about representing the actual characters and more about representing what they want these characters to be, usually turning them into mouthpieces for whatever bias or story they want to tell, which in turn explains a lot of their love for other OOC representations of their pairing, like Prime Sonic and Thorn, or IDW Sonamy. Their story reads great if you read it in a vacuum, but as soon as you contrast whatever they wrote with the writing in the games, it becomes apparent that these are not the same characters, replacing Sonic with Domingo, by writing him to be, usually, a self centered prick that has to learn the value of *insert positive trait here*, or a little penis man that trips on his balls everytime he takes a step and needs someone to believe in him so he can do this with the power of love and friendship; and replacing Amy with Consuela, this lovey dovey perfect girl that has never ever done anything wrong, has never made Sonic feel uncomfortable, has never stalked him and has never ever in the history of ever tried to force her views and herself into sonic's lifestyle.

For some this shit was never about "why would these two character become better by being with each other" and more of "Me and my pookie". For a while several depictions of sonamy (i would call it fanon, but that would imply there is a canon counterpart, and guess what!) have always struck me as some weird self insert, and it usually reads in one of two ways

First: Self inserting as Sonic, the one being chased, the thing gets morphed into some early 2000s romcom plot, "she is annoying but i care about her", where, at the end, the pursued reveals that they have always had an interest in the pursuer and that trying to get away was their way to try and fool themselves. Usually this goes with the motif of "I wish that were me"

Second: Self inserting as Amy, this is the toxic and problematic one, because more often than not the author ends up agreeing with the concept of "Love as a transaction", where their interest must always be reciprocated because they did these many things, they have been around for this long or they have met this set of arbitrary requisites.

I really don't wanna be that person, but to me these behaviours tends to speak a lot more about its poster than about the subject of the post, and the fact that you're usually met with such defensive, offensive and sometimes aggresive behaviours (because the shit that some of them say is really eyebrow raising and I wanna believe is just a passing comment that does not represents their actual views on said topics and issues) from the fanbrats upon mentioning it, hinting at it or bringing it up, makes me believe it

If you have to change two characters so much before they can be compatible with each other, maybe they don't belong together, and maybe, just maybe, you're just looking way to deep into something that holds absolutely no meaning for validation of your ideas that you yourself made believe were real, and acting the way that some do whenever the topic aint "how great sonamy is" kinda points in the direction of "I know it but im afraid to admit it"

At the end of the day people can like whatever they want and I'm sure that most sonamy fans are normal people, but if you're one of the fanbrats that just gotta be so vocal and loud about it, don't act all offended when the others complain, or worse, do the same

[asterrrrion]

Just saw someone on pinterest saying "idk is Verlaine french" and actually you know what this is the last straw. So, I'm french, I've studied both of those authors in middle and high school, and it's time to discuss what they were really like, because I see a lot of information on japanese authors going around in the bsd fandoms and the american authors generally don't need to be introduced.

So, first off, to start with the obvious, YES. Verlaine is french. So is Rimbaud. Arthur Rimbaud and Paul Verlaine are both very famous 19th century french poets. Actually, Rimbaud is arguably the most famous french poet ever, and usually the first author you ever study in poetry when you study french literature. Verlaine is, today, mostly known for his association to Rimbaud, although his poems are still read.

Starting off with the less mentally unstable of the two... Paul Verlaine. Which, if the only thing you know about those authors is bsd canon, is probably surprising to you. (But tbh, I have so many questions about WHY they were represented like that in BSD.....) Fair warning, though : the less mentally unstable of the two isn't saying much. Both of them were complete madmen.

Paul Verlaine is this guy :

Ironically, Paul Verlaine is his birth name. He was born in 1844, started to write in 1858 at the age of 14, and died in 1895 at the age of 51. His most known book is his first one, Saturnian Poems, published in 1866, so if we ever get an ability name, it'll probably be that. Saturnian, because at the time, Saturn was considered to be the planet of melancholy, which in the 19th century didn't mean a weird sort of nostalgia, but rather an undiagnosed depression. He's the archetype of the tortured poet - a concept he majorly theorised himself -, basically, and was either appreciated by his contemporaries as a genius poet or depreciated as a mad asshole (most of which is due to his story with Rimbaud).

He got along "well" with his mother, except for the part where he tried to murder her because he was sad the girl he loved married someone else and then died. More seriously, his parents loved him, and his father passed in 1865. His relationship with his mom was both very loving and very violent - as I said, murder attempt, but he lived with her also -, and he was in love with his cousin, Elisa, an orphan who was raised with him. He wanted to marry her but she settled for a rich guy and then died giving birth in 1867. Afterwards, he got very into alcohol and violence. He then finally married Mathilde Mauté, 17, for whom he wrote a few love poems. They had a son a few years later.

He wrote a shit ton of poems, I'm not kidding. He's mainly known for Saturnian Poems, but also a bit famous for his erotic poetry - which i'm not a big fan of,,, -, mainly because he wrote both about men and women.

His literary movement was the Parnassian movement, whose main point is to make art for art, for beauty, and to detach art from any notion of usefulness.

He was, as a whole, a piece of shit. He beat his wife and his son extremely violently, sometimes almost to death. His wife divorced him after four years of marriage, in 1874.

I'll do the next part introducing Rimbaud soon, I guess, and then probably a last one to talk about their relationship.

[challaball]

Can we get a Show inspired by Lady Gaga's Judas?

Let me begin with a disclaimer: I am neither christian nor grew up christian So I don't know much. I also sort of think of the bible as a collection of stories that are sometimes interesting narratively... That I also don't know shit about so bear with me.

Ok so hear me out. I don't exactly mean the song, I mean the music video. There's this whole background narrative world of a very direct and literal Jesus and co (I think Lady Gaga was supposed to be Mary Magdalene,) in a biker gang in this whole underground biker society.

The choices of how each member was visually represented was super cool (and Jesus is incredibly hot.) Watching the video again 11 years later I kept finding myself watching the clips of theatrical scenes going "wait go back I want to know what was happening there!" For example there's this ongoing scene that get's briefly clipped to that both looks like a worship party but also Judas in separate instances is making out with girls and gets choked out in a fight???? From what I can tell it's like a gathering that turned into a riot and they all end up having to flee. I wanna see more of that don't you?!

There's a whole unspoken world here! and it would make for such a good show! Imagine the story of Jesus and Co. told as if they are a part of biker society that's forced into the underground by the police state. Via poverty and desperation they turn on each other, forming gangs, territories and turfs to each defend their own. Jesus is trying to unite all those forced into the shadows to reclaim their place in society and rise up against their oppressors.

Jesus slowly grows more followers as he sews alliances and preaches of an uprising and overhaul of the status quo, unintentionally garnering a cult-like following as stories are passed and exaggerated. (IDK maybe he could be allowed actual super powers but I like the idea that he's just a dude trying to overthrow they system and some people got a lil too excited.)

Meanwhile, shitty dude Judas is a grifter who's here for riding the coat tails of Jesus' rise to power but is too caught up in his own toxic masculinity and the idea of biker toughness to truly be down with the ideals of societal revolution.

[Again: I don't know shit about the bible, IDK if this is the actual narrative or no]

The primary narrative music video would even make a dope sub plot. Mary's internally conflicted about having feelings for shitty dude Judas despite knowing he is indeed shitty dude Judas and is trying to be faithful to Jesus. As he faith wanes she learns about Judases intent to betray (again) and has a Come-To-Jesus moment where she realizes she'll have to confront Judas in public in order to protect Jesus. (I think that's what's happening, this music video is wild now that I've turned on fangirl brain.)

Just look at these visuals! Cinematography and costuming! You can't tell me that this doesn't look like shots from a gritty HBO show.

I just really want this to be a show and event better that would make this music video retroactively look like a shipping MV or something which would also be hilarious and fantastic.

I know this will probably just be lost to the void but if anyone at HBO sees this, y'all are sleeping on gold.